Book 5 – Honest by Tulisa Youthful Wisdom or Titty Stupid

 Being famous is fickle at the best of times but doing it in the UK is a tightrope walk with the media constantly trying to push you off. The young Tulisa is finding that out now. Her first autobiography, (no ghost writer credited but evident) was only released at the end of last year and already the wheels have been falling off the positive rails she ends her book with. As +Daniel pointed out in his review of her book here, Tulisa was not someone really within our radar but my magpie mind knew enough about her reasons for fame to have a better idea of who she was before I picked up the book.

Tula Paulinea Contostavlos, better known as "Tulisa" was born 13 July 1988. Her moniker arose as her grandmother was also Tula and Tulisa was a family name for little Tula. She became famous as part of urban grime group N-Dubz with her cousin Dino (Dappy) and his best friend Richard (Fazer). All three are known by their nicknames and had a few years of genuine success crossing over into mainstream sales. Fame attacked their young egos and the band dissolved leading them off into solo careers of varying success. Tulisa landed a job as mentor and judge on the X-Factor, one of the UK’s biggest reality shows, which is a big deal but also a precarious position of fame.

Tulisa has branded her book honest and it is a title that the reader has no idea whether it is true but if I am completely honest I am unsure that she truly was. There is a sense that she painted herself a little too positively. She wanted to show she was a bad girl and attempts to draws a picture of someone who drama surrounds but succeeds in making the reader feel that she is at the centre of it all. You get a sense that she was a tad more bitchier than she contends as she appears to be talking about her frailties one second and then bragging how everyone called her The Bitch which eventually became the Female Boss. Now I am all for strength in the human spirit but don’t call your book honest and then tell tales that don’t add up. I find when someone cries that drama surrounds them and they have nothing to do with it then they are not looking hard enough at themselves.

That said Tulisa’s upbringing was not normal with a mother suffering a serious mental illness leading to multiple hospital admissions. Her parents divorced when she was young and young Tulisa spent a great deal of time with relatives while Mum was hospitalised. That would not have been nice and although Tulisa wants to paint an upbringing of poverty and toughness in reality she had a loving family surrounding her. Her Dad and Uncle owned a music studio, there was a strong musical history on both sides of the family and she had an introduction to music that most kids only dream of.  She never went hungry and had long vacations in Greece with loving grandparents. She constantly reminds the reader that her family never knew how bad her life was on the streets but it is hard to see it that way.

This is not to say that Tulisa did not see some heavy stuff in the local area but it was often after she put herself in such situations. Hanging out with the tough chicks or being led astray by some other force other than Tulisa!! She paints an incredibly dark picture for the young girls likely to read her story and offers little in the way of an antidote to the life she constantly complains about. Normally this would not be a problem and no more than a media inspired pop star’s rise to fame out of a banal background but Tulisa constantly suggests that she wants to be a positive role model for the young people that look up to her. It is difficult to imagine young kids seeing anything else other than the idea that sex, drugs and skiving are the normal behaviour of teenagers from the age of twelve and they don’t need to take precautions or worry about the consequences of their actions. They can just blame someone else and eventually their entitlement of stardom will come their way.

I think this is one of the major reasons I disliked this book. She made me feel like a cranky old man wanting to tell off the youth of today. I lay the blame squarely at this young lady’s feet for trying so hard to suggest that she is wise at nearly 25 after all she has been through but failing to even attempt to speak to her expected audience. At least enlighten us with some things you have learnt. Most kids will have access to all the contraband she speaks of and surprising as it still appears to be for many people, most teenagers will have to face violence and fear in the world around them.

Today most people like to blame the parents for such social realities but they are normally people who have not experienced such behaviours. Tulisa is no different and constantly wishes her parents had set her better boundaries and at one point disturbingly appears to wish that corporal punishment needs to be reintroduced as a panacea to the confusion of transitioning from child to adult in the modern world. She does suggest that some parents need training to be effective but any positive messages that the girl may have are totally lost in the constant me me me me that she throws the readers way.

I should admit that I was not surprised by what I read or the attempt to pretend a 24 year old would actually deserve a biography. There are no great revelations here or any great discussion on a musical scene or social commentary on young people at a particular time and place. This is tabloid fodder designed to create opportunity in a fleeting moment of fame. Her book only came out at the end of last year and already her solo album has failed despite a number one single and she appears to have been axed from the X factor. Her star is on the wane and she will undoubtedly reform with her cousin and his best friend, who she informs us was her lover recently until her paranoia about his fidelity made her break up with him.

Her tales of love are as tawdry as you would expect of a flowering young lady intent on proving she is a woman as happens to so many women. She lurches from one moron to the next and tries to make out she is strong because she eventually leaves one abusive situation after another. She talks of date rape and losing her virginity against her will as par for the course and offers no suggestion on protection of any kind.

She could have been a role model for all the kids that look up to her and told them some of that information that she wished she had known at that age. Or so she intimates. In truth she was a typical teenager afraid of appearing different to the pack and lacking in the knowledge and skills to find her own way out. She appears to be just as lost and confused as when she was 12. Being pushed out of the limelight doesn’t bode well for this attention seeking young lady. I hope she has invested wisely.

She was lucky to have an uncle who believed in his son and subsequently the band he formed. Uncle B pushed them further than they could have and sadly died before he saw how much fame they achieved.

A lasting legacy would be to make good in his name and become the role model she claims is so important. A good start would to be honest.